Well, the good news is that she said my wee-wee is ‘clean as a whistle’. (Sorry, have just tried to type ‘urine’ and changed it to ‘wee-wee’ and back again; ‘urine’ just sounds plain daft.) This is good news... but in a weird way, completely secondary to the fact that I have absolutely mastered the art of whizzing in the little specimen bottle. I will spare you both the self exaltations AND the graphic description of my technique but needless to say NOT A DROP WAS WASTED, my fine friends. Sure, I may have contorted myself into something resembling a pretzel to get a good eye line of my wee-line... (no mean feat for a planet like me; see above picture and marvel at my current girth) but it was something to behold; have no doubt.
Also, the lovely Lynnette said my blood pressure is spot on. Nice one! Is it wrong to feel a little smug when she says that, do you think? Check ME out and my AWESOME blood! Hehehe.